1. The Tears of a Clown-Hater
Ooph. Jeremy had a rough go of it, huh? He’s the last person picked for the challenge, his crush Jourdan asks him, “Why are you so desperately obsessed with me?”, and Rob Evans even says, “You have nothing to offer as a model when we can’t see your nipples.” (If not a direct quote, that’s the gist.) Jeremy defends his elimination by arguing, “If I just had more experience and more knowledge, I could’ve made it farther.” Yeah, dumbie, that’d be true of anyone. Oh and then he starts crying to his mommy, worrying that he let her down.
Jeremy’s exit would be one of the most embarrassing in Top Model history, but he lucks out in the sense that he leaves as part of a double elimination where his departure is eclipsed. Man does the show do Kanani dirty. I mean, the poor girl looks like a clown! (Poor choice of words.)
It sucks, too, because Kanani’s funny and slightly mean personality was just starting to show. I laughed when she’s about to get Jeremy on her team by default and instead she unapologetically says, “Pass!” I laughed again when Jourdan tries to make amends with her and Kanani says, “At least you apologized. Now I can dislike you a little bit less.” See? Kanani’s got more jokes than a clown ever could.
The rationale the show gives us for Kanani’s elimination is that she’s too afraid of clowns to be a good model. Have you ever heard of anything more absurd? There are six contestants (Jourdan & Jeremy, Phil & Jiana, Chris & Nina) all complaining that they’re afraid their non-relationship relationship drama is going to distract them at the photo shoot, and then there’s Kanani who crumbles because there was a toy clown beside her the day before.
I’m not doubting that Kanani is afraid of clowns. The way she wails in a fetal position and sucks on her inhaler after they put the toy on her bed, it’s clear her phobia is real. However, all of the confessionals where she talks about clowns are creatively clipped together. Stuff like “I’m really worried about this photo shoot [SNIP] because I’m afraid of clowns.” “The boys put a clown in my bed and [CLIP] I can’t focus.” At no point does she actually say a full sentence like this. Kanani doesn’t go home because she’s picturing a clown on Johnny Wujek’s shoulder… she goes home because the judges purposefully tank her score by giving her fives when they give other shots they don’t like eights.
The other funny part about the edit is they make it seem like the boys put clowns on Kanani’s bed to take her head out of the game. That would require them being way more diabolical than they are. Didn’t you see their other “prank”? They taped the girls’ shoes to the wall. They aren’t smart enough to sabotage her that badly.
After being eliminated, Kanani’s sobs are kind of painful to watch, but Marvin’s are hilarious as he apologizes about his clown prank.
BEST SHOW ENDING IN AGES!
On the plus side, Kanani WILL be remembered for this craziness. On the negative side, that means strangers are going to be coming up to ask her about clowns for the rest of her life. Better keep that inhaler handy, girl.
Funniest Moments of ANTM Cycle 20 ep 7
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