3. Incredibly Confusing Acts of Modeling
Kelly Cutrone - dressed H2T in black ‘cause she’s GOTH like that - explains that today the models will do a photo campaign for Emerson clothing. The creator of Emerson comes out to explain she named her line after her distant relative, Ralph Waldo Emerson. I doubt that this bunch of models, many of whom were high school dropouts, is even remotely impressed by the name dropping - they wouldn’t know a Transcendentalist poet if he knocked them over on the runway. Granted, the last book Jeremy’s read probably says “Waldo” on the cover, but it has nothing to do with Mr. Emerson.
Then again, these clothes have nothing to do with Mr. Emerson either, but go ahead and milk that loose connection for profits, lady. Oh, and Emerson is a female line, so the guys can just wear whatever the hell they want so long as they don’t destroy the clothing provided (ahem, PHIL!)
Kelly adds that this challenge is about “Random Acts of Modeling” even though it’s not. I never thought there’d come a day when I defend the sanctity of a Tyra-coined phrase, but Random Acts of Modeling is when you turn an everyday activity into a fashion pose. By definition, you can’t give the models a fashion set, designer clothing, Flixel technology, and instructions to create a campaign with a concept, and STILL have that be a random act of modeling. That’s just business-as-usual modeling.
Fortunately, though, the confused models still managed to inject some randomness into the proceedings by developing some truly off-the-wall concepts.
The “best” is Cory’s team. Cory, who obviously just wants to invent an excuse to wear the women’s clothing, explains, “I’m playing this alien from the Planet Androgyny who just landed on a farm and the two people who lived on the farm discover me.” Somehow, Cory’s intersex alien isn’t even the weirdest character - that goes to Phil, straddling a fence while preparing to smash Cory’s head open with a branch. (At least Phil took that everyday action of finding and killing an androgynous alien and made it FASHION.)
Surprisingly, the creator of Emerson doesn’t think these photos are a good representation of her brand. Really?! What woman reading a fashion magazine wouldn’t want to buy a dress after seeing it on a bald trans alien?
Well, at least they included a dress. Kelly tells Don’s team that they have the best photo, but since it didn’t feature Emerson clothing, they couldn’t win. Sorry, men, it kind of isn’t fair to give you a challenge you can’t compete in, but you’ll have another chance to prove yourself at the next photo shoot… where you’ll be wearing nail art.
For the record, their concept isn’t that great, anyway. Jeremy says, “I was this rich farm owner who had two worker guys and, secretly behind like the barn, they were sleeping with my wife.” I’m going to assume that Marvin created the theme since it involves his character getting to have sex (not to mention a threesome that includes his BFF/crush Don), but I’m mostly laughing at the fact that Jeremy doesn’t get to have sex even in this imaginary scenario.
By default, Kanani, Renee, and Jourdan win - not because their concept makes a lick of sense (“We are three orphans that get adopted by this crazy family and we’re fabulously fixing a tractor,” says Renee) - but because they have vaginas and can wear the Emerson clothing. From the way the girls are caressing the tractor, it’s clear they don’t have the slightest idea how to repair the thing… maybe the photo is a better representation of objectophilia? We all know how high fashion that is.
Funniest Moments of ANTM Cycle 20, episode 7
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