1. Too White to Be Goth

Jourdan is the least popular “popular” girl ever. She may be a sensation on social media, but that love doesn’t carry over to the people who actually know her:
Renee says, “My toenail I just clipped off has more personality than her.”
Cory says that he hates Jourdan as a person, then pauses to bemoan that hate is a strong word, but still doesn’t take it back.
Tyra tells Jourdan that she hates models who aren’t smart or cultured. [Tyra’s already got that market cornered, thankyouverymuch!]
Nina admits that Jourdan “kind of turns on the dumbness.”
When even sympathetic Nina, Jourdan’s closest friend in the house, says something like that, you know Jourdan must be hard to get along with. (Okay, maybe Jeremy’s closer to her, but that shouldn’t count because he’s trying to get into her pants… presumably so he can not fuck her.) It’s a good thing Jourdan chooses not to have friends because something tells me if she were to try, it might not work out. 

If the fact that she got married and divorced when she was eighteen wasn’t enough to convince you that Jourdan isn’t operating at the height of intelligence, seeing her stare longingly at a photo of herself will probably do it. Jourdan may believe she has the mentality of a 40-year-old, but most 40-year-olds can do simple division. A lot of people blame Jourdan ruining the phone time on her being inconsiderate, but I still think it has more to do with being bad at math.

However, nothing tops the idiocy of Jourdan not understanding what the goth culture is. As she explains, “I literally come from a town that’s just white people and maybe some hispanics, so I had no idea what gothic is.” Girl, goth culture is literally comprised of mostly white people and some hispanics; in fact, the paler the skin, the better. You do know goths, you just did everything you could to ignore them in high school. It’s not like goth is some ethnicity you’ve never encountered.

I’m tempted not to give Jourdan a hard time for this, though, because Kelly Cutrone clearly doesn’t know what goth is either. Who does she think she’s kidding when she gestures at herself as an example of goth? 

Kelly is 47, not a teenager. She wears all black because it’s slimming, not to emulate a vampire. She’s scary because she’s a bitch, not because she’s a horror genre fan. And being so miserable that she makes other people want to slit their wrists is not a suitable substitute for cutting herself. 

But most of all, Kelly can’t be a goth because she’s white. Even Jourdan could tell her that! 

Funniest Moments of ANTM Cycle 20 ep 6

1. Too White to Be Goth

Jourdan is the least popular “popular” girl ever. She may be a sensation on social media, but that love doesn’t carry over to the people who actually know her:

  • Renee says, “My toenail I just clipped off has more personality than her.”
  • Cory says that he hates Jourdan as a person, then pauses to bemoan that hate is a strong word, but still doesn’t take it back.
  • Tyra tells Jourdan that she hates models who aren’t smart or cultured. [Tyra’s already got that market cornered, thankyouverymuch!]
  • Nina admits that Jourdan “kind of turns on the dumbness.”

When even sympathetic Nina, Jourdan’s closest friend in the house, says something like that, you know Jourdan must be hard to get along with. (Okay, maybe Jeremy’s closer to her, but that shouldn’t count because he’s trying to get into her pants… presumably so he can not fuck her.) It’s a good thing Jourdan chooses not to have friends because something tells me if she were to try, it might not work out. 

If the fact that she got married and divorced when she was eighteen wasn’t enough to convince you that Jourdan isn’t operating at the height of intelligence, seeing her stare longingly at a photo of herself will probably do it. Jourdan may believe she has the mentality of a 40-year-old, but most 40-year-olds can do simple division. A lot of people blame Jourdan ruining the phone time on her being inconsiderate, but I still think it has more to do with being bad at math.

However, nothing tops the idiocy of Jourdan not understanding what the goth culture is. As she explains, “I literally come from a town that’s just white people and maybe some hispanics, so I had no idea what gothic is.” Girl, goth culture is literally comprised of mostly white people and some hispanics; in fact, the paler the skin, the better. You do know goths, you just did everything you could to ignore them in high school. It’s not like goth is some ethnicity you’ve never encountered.

I’m tempted not to give Jourdan a hard time for this, though, because Kelly Cutrone clearly doesn’t know what goth is either. Who does she think she’s kidding when she gestures at herself as an example of goth? 

Kelly is 47, not a teenager. She wears all black because it’s slimming, not to emulate a vampire. She’s scary because she’s a bitch, not because she’s a horror genre fan. And being so miserable that she makes other people want to slit their wrists is not a suitable substitute for cutting herself. 

But most of all, Kelly can’t be a goth because she’s white. Even Jourdan could tell her that! 

Funniest Moments of ANTM Cycle 20 ep 6

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