4. No Like for Mike
Mike might have entered the competition feeling special after Tyra handpicked him, but man was everyone shitting on him this episode.
For starters, his walk is definitely awful. It’s like he just got off a horse, or as Jessica Hart says, as if he has “something stuck between his legs.” Is that an ice cream cone in his pocket or is he just happy to see Bianca?
Speaking of which, that budding romance is pretty gross. When Bianca comments, “I want to take him home to my mommy,” I had hoped she meant to fix them up instead, since that relationship would be more age appropriate. In other circumstances, a nine year age difference isn’t necessarily awful, but at 18, Bianca is barely legal. I’m just saying - it seems potentially creepy and opportunistic for a guy who works in an ice cream truck to lust after such young girls. Like Dateline creepy.
At least their pairing is managing to upset Marvin. After seeing Mike flirt with Bianca, he exasperatedly asks, “Where did Mike even come from?!” Well, not from a janitor’s semen, that’d be you, Marvin. Obviously, Mike came from an ice cream truck. I don’t know how anyone can forget that since they’ve already mentioned that fact 400 times, on pace to perhaps top Cycle 6’s “I-Was-Found-In-A-Mall”-Sara. Then again, if Marvin means where did Mike come from in a more immediate sense, it would probably be a pub.
Nina calling Mike a “questionable drunk” is pretty generous considering how many times he refilled his wine mug… and then wound up breaking said wine mug. But he truly reached some Lisa D’Amato levels of sobriety when he passed out in the confessional. Here’s hoping that next week he vomits on set!
Funniest Moments of ANTM Cycle 20 ep 2
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