100+ Moment: Marvita (Cycle 10)

Oh, Marvita. For someone who has had such a rough background, she sure also has a sense of humor. If only this clip also showed the funny moment where Marvita spills her beer on the floor “for the homies”. 

100+ Moment: Sister Act (Cycle 15 ep. 1)

Chris is an obvious comedian, but her humor is at its finest when she’s paired next to her sister, Terra. I love how they’re not afraid to act foolish and even tease one another - something that can be hard to make out since they’re always talking over each other.

Fortunately, Terra didn’t talk over Chris during her classic posing line. Say it with me now: TIK-TIK-TIK-TIK-FLASH! 

100+ Moment: Tyra Smiles with Her Eyes (Cycle 6)

We, of course, have to give an honorable mention to the first time Tyra coined the phrase “Smile with your eyes.” As much as I regularly make fun of her catchphrase, I do see a difference in what she’s doing - she looks a little bit crazier when she smiles with her eyes.

The video is the first occasion that Tyra introduced the concept to us. At the time, I figured it was just some random shit Tyra was babbling about that would never be mentioned again, but like anything that Tyra says that she thinks is clever, she then proceeded to overkill it by referring to it all the time and even abbreviating it simply to “smizing.” 

Tyra’s latest contribution to the Top Model lexicon is “booty tooch”, and best believe we’ll be seeing booty tooching activities on the show for cycles to come (or until it is cancelled in the near future) regardless of the fact that it’s not actually a relevant modeling tip… but it blurted out of Tyra’s mouth, so it must be gold, you know?

100+ Moment: Adrianne’s Accent (Cycle 1 ep. 4)

Certainly, Adrianne’s speech is not one of her finer points. Her diction is criticized during a commercial shoot when her Chicago accent gets in the way of pronouncing the word “passion”.

The best part? After repeated failed attempts to get Adrianne to alter her delivery, the director finally says, “You’re consistent.” Love that line!

100+ Moment: Nicole Is Forgotten (Cycle 3 ep 9)

Poor Nicole. She was more likable and talented than most of her Cycle 3 castmates, but she didn’t make for nearly as interesting of a character, so the show had to find an excuse to drop her. But they not only found an excuse - they straight up manufactured one.

Evidently, Nicole is “forgettable.” Twice in her final episode, the judges forget that Nicole is in the competition. How can that happen when she is standing in front of them and there are only six girls left? It can’t.

ANTM places a lot of emphasis on personality. Toccara doesn’t put on a smile and a show one week? She’s out. Eva makes for good TV despite being shorter than the height requirement? She’s the winner. And then Nicole doesn’t show enough personality in front of the judges, so they clip her unjustly. As Nicole eloquently defends her own reserved nature, “Panel’s not the place for me to go in and act like a tard.” (Also, I hope that was a swipe at Ann.)

A lot of the video footage above shows Cycle 3’s acting challenge… and considering that that moment made the Top 100 moments in its own right, that makes for a fun watch!

I can’t tell you whether the acting coaches were in on the fix - maybe they just genuinely forgot to read her critique. Or maybe they’re just better at their craft than I would have guessed. But one person who is not a good actress is Tyra.

Tyra can’t even deliver her “oh, I forgot Nicole” moment convincingly, so she has to cover her face to hide her laughter and avoid giving what would need to be a genuine emotion. But it was necessary to stage this moment so they could prove that Nicole was unmemorable. 

Sucks for Nicole, but it’s all pretty funny now to watch them pull off the ruse and knock out a girl who was otherwise a legitimate contender. 

100+ Moment: Kimberly Quits (Cycle 10)

It seemed like Tyra had found the perfect airhead to keep Cycle 10’s audience laughing. Kimberly doesn’t know she was supposed to pose in front of the camera, ignores Mr. Jay’s comment and instead dismisses him with a “you’re so cute”, and is confused enough by Tyra’s simple question to confess to stealing money from the bank at which she works.

I was looking forward to more such moments from Kimberly, but unfortunately it turns out she doesn’t want to be a model after all. You’d think Kimberly would have known that before joining the competition, but a girl that dumb might just not have understood that modeling meant participating in “fashion” activities, which she claims do not interest her. And so Kimberly eliminates herself at the first panel, in a move that leaves us scratching our heads… and then giggling a bit, too.

100+ Moment: Sandra Is an Expert in Being Lady-Like (Cycle 12 ep 7)

Okay, this moment was mentioned in passing during the countdown, but didn’t get the recognition it deserves. Besides, it needs a video to really be appreciated. Look at what Sandra has the nerve to do while calling out Aminat for not “acting like a lady”. Maybe next time you call someone out on their etiquette , do it without your finger in your nose.  

Sorry I missed yesterday’s post. I was participating in the May 1st General Strike. Hope you were out there, too! In order to enjoy frivolous things like ANTM, we need people to take care of serious things as well. Contribute to a better world so you don’t have to feel guilty about watching a show like ANTM, haha.

Besides, strikes are relevant. Remember when the Top Model writers went on strike? (Yes, reality shows have writers - here’s what they do.) That was back in 2006. And then the show just decided to eliminate the writer positions entirely and have the editors do the “writing” job instead. And then, not coincidentally, the show went from funny and enjoyable to sucky because they didn’t have the talented people who knew how to put together a good storyline together. The producers made their show worse because they didn’t want to pay important employees a fair wage, so if you ever wonder why ANTM went downhill after its early cycles… that’s the biggest reason why. 

100+ Moment: Makeover Fallout (Cycle 1)

An anonymous reader suggested sharing this clip as a bonus moment, and I must agree. Watching Ebony get fired up while Robin, the queen of manners, mocks her right behind her back. It’s not so much Robin’s way of mocking her that’s funny, but the fact that Ebony is oblivious to the mocking, to the point where she assumes the girls are really entertained by her ranting. I will give credit to Robin for getting Ebony to bend down again just so she could give her bunny ears. That’s so immature that it’s almost amazing.

It’s also crazy to see Robin and Elise laughing at the same thing. But just when you think maybe Elise and Robin are getting along, Elise reminds us why she’s the top bitch with this swipe: “I completely didn’t understand Robin’s assertion that her haircut made her look like a prostitute. But, then again, I’m not really familiar with prostitute trends.” Hehehe.

So the big news on the ANTM front is that Tyra has sacked all of the regular male (if that’s the right word) cast members. They were just cutting into Tyra’s screen time anyway. Tyra is hilarious and talented and can totally carry this show on her own! (Ha, yeah right.)

I don’t care about Nigel getting the boot, the “noted photographer” barely adds anything to the show. And while I’m not always too keen on Mr. Jay, I do think I’ll miss his on-set bitchy commentary. It won’t feel like a real fashion shoot without an orange man rolling his eyes. 

But one thing is for sure: cutting Miss J loose is a LOSS. Miss J’s personality helps make this show fun and watchable. And, real talk, Miss J has always been as over-the-top as Tyra, but the big, important difference is that Miss J is actually funny.

This is dumb, dumb, dumb… I guess Tyra is keeping Kelly Cutrone because she’s the one judge that makes Tyra look better in comparison. But if she thinks that’s what’s going to “save” the show, she is all sorts of mistaken.

Here’s a video that someone else compiled of funny moments from Miss J. At least we’ll always have the memories.